Megyn Kelly Hospitalized After Meltdown Over Madonna's Firm Butt

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

“There’s No Way That Thing Is Real,” Exclaims Bloviating Bony Ass BitchFormer Fox News and NBC distaff Maury Povich, Megyn “Mo” Kelly was hospitalized in the early hours of September 15, following a rant over Madonna’s Video Music Award’s appearance, where she accused the 63-year-old pop star of wearing...

Turdwaffle Claims Holyfield Match Was Rigged

Monday, September 13, 2021

“I Got Robbed,” Twice-Impeached Nazi NattersFormer unindicted co-conspirator, Donald J. Turdwaffle and his son Little Don had hoped to earn more than 12 million dollars for their commentary during Evander Holyfield’s highly anticipated victory over Russian operative Vitor Belfort, but when Holyfield...

QAnon Amos And Andy Ngo To Host Jan. 6 Celebration

Saturday, September 11, 2021

Claim Capitol Police Response Was Terrorist Attack On FreedumbocracyJacob Shandling, the insurrectionist formerly known as the QAnon Shaman, has teamed up with independent Y’all Qaeda journalist Andy Ngo to mark the first anniversary of the Turdwaffle-inspired liberation of our nation’s Capitol to...

Turdwaffle To Honor 9/11 Heroes With Evander Holyfield Ringside Tag Team

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Junior Promises “Two-Fisted Entertainment” To Make America GreatFormer twice-impeachment unindicted coconspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle and his eldest son Donald J. Turdwaffle Jr. have teamed up with FITE TV to give good patriotic Americans the kind of entertainment they crave on the 20th anniversary...

Laurena Boebert Says She Has 2nd Amendment Plan To Get Rid Of Biden, Harris and Pelosi

Thursday, September 2, 2021

Colorado Gun Nut Serenades Glenn BeckFreshman Colorado congressturd Laurena Boebert has incessantly demanded that we stop misspelling her name in such a way that impressionable uneducated readers might conflate the freshman anti-Fauci-Ouchie activist with the woman who tossed her husband's severed...

#FloridaMan Demands DeSantisizing

Monday, August 30, 2021

"This Guy Embarasses Me,” Says State MascotSunshine State governor RegeneRon DeSantis may be a shoo-in for the 2024 Repugnicunt presidential nomination, but #FloridaMan is not impressed.Best known for his arrest after calling 911 to report a kitten getting refused entry at a titty bar, #FloridaMan...

Turdwaffle Praises Mullah Babar As "One Tough Cookie"

Saturday, August 28, 2021

“That Guy Really Knows How To Make A Great Deal” Former Guy Tells Nazi Talk Show
Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator & failed führer Donald J. Turdwaffle called one of his favorite white supremacist talk show hosts yesterday to flex his oration muscles after a four day bout with painful...

Katrina 16th Anniversary Remembrance Canceled

Friday, August 27, 2021

Hurricane’s Unacknowledged Daughter Ida About To Violate Implied Restraining OrderEver heard of someone asking for a maternity test?

NRA Cancels 150th Anniversary Out An Abundance Of Fear

Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Refuses To Stand Its Ground Against COVID For Second Consecutive YearThe American Nazi Rifle Association (NRA) canceled its 2021 Annual Membership Meeting scheduled for Houston from September 3-5 this morning in a conference call with its Fox News communications firm. 
The NRA released the following...

Turdwaffle Urges Deplorable Base To Embrace Sleepwalking Over Wokeness

Monday, August 23, 2021

“You Too Can Learn To Run A Business In Your Sleep,” Grifting Guru Tells Uneducated AcolytesAmidst his hours-long rant in Cullman, Alabama, against antifa, women, immigrants, clean air, socialism, young people, education, COVID, mask mandates, blacks, hispanics, asians, nature, environmentalists, Greenpace,...

Trump Calls Taliban Afghanistan's Proud Boys

Saturday, August 21, 2021

Former President Whoops It Up At Alabama Repugnicunt RallyWarming up for his recently rescheduled reinstatement now slated for September 11, 2021, former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle took to the stage in Cullman tonight to tout his good relations with the Taliban,...

War To Avenge George H. W. Bush's Honor Ends In Defeat

Monday, August 16, 2021

How Soon We Forget After 20 YearsI told you so. You people should have been listening when I told you so the first 100 or so times.
Remember when nerve gas turned out to be bee shit & the WMD in Iraq were stolen to make Dubya look bad? We’re getting good at this.

Dubai Is The Epitome Of Late Stage Supply Side Plantation Economics

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

A Shrine To St. Ronald ReaganIt’s nice to know that endless war & ballistic consummables is not America’s first & foremost export. Supply-side plantation economics is.
It’s so nice not to have to slam the unchosen country of my birth for being populated by such stupid scumbags, by having someone...

Mike Lindell Cyber Symposium Delayed By Random Zeroes & Ones

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

“Michael Che Hacked My Whole Capture Packet! ” CEO Screams Into Pile Of My Pillow QC RejectsMy Pillow founder Mike Lindell welcomed a throng of thonged QAnon computer experts numbering in the mid-double-digits to Sioux Falls this morning for a three-day cyber symposium that will prove “beyond a shallow...

Marjoe Failure Greene Urges Southerners To Shoot Vaccine Volunteers

Friday, August 6, 2021

“We All Love Our Second Amendment Rights,” Smarmy Seditionist SmilesNot content with having been stripped of all her committee assignments for having promoted the January 6th insurrection, freshman Georgia Rep. Marjoe Failure Greene told the Alabama Confederation of Repugnicunt Grabbable Pussies on...

6 Month Anniversary Fast Approaching

Tuesday, August 3, 2021

Is It Time To Resubmit My Appeal of Twitter’s Suspension Of My Account For Hateful Conduct?I’m getting mixed messages here.

Holden Cawthorn's Glock Confiscated

Saturday, July 31, 2021

Tries To Claim It’s His Emotional Support AnimalNorth Carolina Freshman  Representative Holden Cawthorn recently denied he tried to sneak a loaded Glock with 2 extended magazines onto a flight to Mar A Lago back in February. 
“This is old fake news from the liberal media political hit mob,” said...

The Three Mouseketeers!

Friday, July 30, 2021

One For All & All Trumps OneI just read that if you assigned four average Americans to collaborate to accomplish any task, three of them will soon produce enough carbon emissions to kill the fourth one.
Well, that sounds about right.

Anyone Else Choose To Identify As Human?

Thursday, July 22, 2021

I’ve Started Identifying As A Human-AmericanUnfortunately, it no longer goes without saying in this nation of miserable fucks.

Antifa Is Fully Vaccinated

Sunday, July 18, 2021

QAnon Claims Antifa Has Been Hoarding “The Good Stuff”Arguing that the Biden vaccines are designed to sterilize Turdwaffle supporters, Mr. & Mrs. Walter Q. White took to Facebook this morning to blast antifa for using up all the safe vaccines developed from hydroxychloroquine during Operation Warped...