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Mitt The Shit Romney Opposes Taxing The Uber Rich

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Billionaires Are People Too, Just Like Corporations“America was built on slavery & genocide, not socialism,” America’s 2nd favorite Mormon white guy told fake media celebrities. “We’ll never make America great again by forcing the plantation owners to pay for the privilege of job creating. There will...

At The Rate The Stupid Are Killing Themselves With COVID

Thursday, October 21, 2021

Our Nation Of Miserable Fucks May Endure!I’m still telling you I told you so like I did way back during the bicentennial, which did not involve a shit pile of non-binary people demanding equal rights in our freedumbocracy, although I have been adamant in attesting that reality is not binary & never...

Let's Lift A Vial Of Anthrax In Honor Of Colon Bowel

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Maybe It Will Make Us Shit All Over Donald J. Turdwaffle’s PartyShould I release an official statement from the office of @DoctorFaustroll, your favorite temporarily suspended twit of the Untied States of Hysteria?

Missouri Vows To Prosecute Journalist Who Found Security Flaw In State Website

Thursday, October 14, 2021

A Clear Violation Of Our Terms Of ServiceA journalist with the  St. Louis Post-Dispatch discovered a security issue on a website maintained by the Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE). By conducting a search & then reading the HTML source code for the returned records, anyone...

Turdwaffle Blasts Wokism For Columbo Day Name Change

Monday, October 11, 2021

They’re Canceling Our Great Italian Family Heritage“In 1492,” Turdwaffle shouted at his rally for Ashli Madison Holden Cawthorn in Lickskillet, NC, “Colombo sailed the ocean blue, and that’s why we celebrate Colombo Day, which was made into a great TV program, not as good as The Apprentice, but it...

#TrumpIsBroke

Friday, October 8, 2021

He’s A Loser & He’s Just What He Appears To BeHe’s a loser & he gets off by drinking pee.

Ted Cruz Blames School Shooting & Looming Debt Limit"" On Biden Border Policy

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

“We Need To Reinstate A Real President,” Cancun Cruz Tells Press WhoresAmerica’s favorite feckless fuck-up, Sen. Ted “Cancun” Cruz (R-Word, TX) held a press conference this morning to blame America’s epidemic of school shootings & random gun violence on Joe Biden’s “failure to secure our borders,”...

Marjoe Faylour Greene Asks Media Why God Has Forsaken Her

Monday, October 4, 2021

Claims Dems Are Rigging Her Life & Ruining The Lives Of Some Very Fine PeopleDays after attempting to introduce a House Bill legalizing concealed carry for fetuses more than 6 weeks old, Georgia’s favorite farmer’s daughter got into a shouting match with a deaf mute Forever Wveteran panhandling in...

Rep. Banks Questions January 6 Commission's Decision To "Spy" On House Republicans

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

The Founding Fathers Would Never Allow This!To prove something or other, Indiana Representative Jim Banks objected to even the idea of subpoenas for phone records of House Repugnicunts because it “would depart from more than 230 years of Congressional oversight, especially wiretaps. Looking at our...

Repugnicunts Outraged To Discover Antifa Owns Stock In Merck

Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Makers of IvermectinEmmett Grogan, founder of The Diggers and reported vice-president of Antifa, told a packed hearing this morning that his group has made billions on the recent surge of ivermectin use among very fine unvaccinated people on former twice-impeached & undicted co-conspirator Donald J....

Old Mitch McDonald Tells Dems Not To Play Russian Roulette With Economy

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Why Risk The Great Tax Cuts The Russians Gave Us?Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY-Jelly) told reporters at a press gaggle and impromptu circle-jerk on Wednesday that America has already used all the help & good will it needed from the Russians in 2017, when they helped produce the greatest supply-side...

Texas Governor Abbott Primaried By Louise Costello

Friday, September 17, 2021

Turdwaffle Endorsement Does Not Deter Repugnicunt ChallengeTexas Gov. Bud Abbott is facing a field of more than 10 primary challengers despite his 73% approval rating among Turdwaffle supporters, many of whom are on life support for refusing to get vaccinated, wear a mask, or social distance during...

Report Says Rioting Portland Police Provoked Violence During George Floyd Protests

Friday, September 17, 2021

Well, duh…Those guys weren’t even funny back in the 1980s when North Portland was not yet gentrified, & The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge, and Laundromat’s alternative religious subsidiary had a sign out front that read:

Megyn Kelly Hospitalized After Meltdown Over Madonna's Firm Butt

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

“There’s No Way That Thing Is Real,” Exclaims Bloviating Bony Ass BitchFormer Fox News and NBC distaff Maury Povich, Megyn “Mo” Kelly was hospitalized in the early hours of September 15, following a rant over Madonna’s Video Music Award’s appearance, where she accused the 63-year-old pop star of wearing...

Turdwaffle Claims Holyfield Match Was Rigged

Monday, September 13, 2021

“I Got Robbed,” Twice-Impeached Nazi NattersFormer unindicted co-conspirator, Donald J. Turdwaffle and his son Little Don had hoped to earn more than 12 million dollars for their commentary during Evander Holyfield’s highly anticipated victory over Russian operative Vitor Belfort, but when Holyfield...

QAnon Amos And Andy Ngo To Host Jan. 6 Celebration

Saturday, September 11, 2021

Claim Capitol Police Response Was Terrorist Attack On FreedumbocracyJacob Shandling, the insurrectionist formerly known as the QAnon Shaman, has teamed up with independent Y’all Qaeda journalist Andy Ngo to mark the first anniversary of the Turdwaffle-inspired liberation of our nation’s Capitol to...

Turdwaffle To Honor 9/11 Heroes With Evander Holyfield Ringside Tag Team

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Junior Promises “Two-Fisted Entertainment” To Make America GreatFormer twice-impeachment unindicted coconspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle and his eldest son Donald J. Turdwaffle Jr. have teamed up with FITE TV to give good patriotic Americans the kind of entertainment they crave on the 20th anniversary...

Laurena Boebert Says She Has 2nd Amendment Plan To Get Rid Of Biden, Harris and Pelosi

Thursday, September 2, 2021

Colorado Gun Nut Serenades Glenn BeckFreshman Colorado congressturd Laurena Boebert has incessantly demanded that we stop misspelling her name in such a way that impressionable uneducated readers might conflate the freshman anti-Fauci-Ouchie activist with the woman who tossed her husband's severed...

#FloridaMan Demands DeSantisizing

Monday, August 30, 2021

"This Guy Embarasses Me,” Says State MascotSunshine State governor RegeneRon DeSantis may be a shoo-in for the 2024 Repugnicunt presidential nomination, but #FloridaMan is not impressed.Best known for his arrest after calling 911 to report a kitten getting refused entry at a titty bar, #FloridaMan...

Turdwaffle Praises Mullah Babar As "One Tough Cookie"

Saturday, August 28, 2021

“That Guy Really Knows How To Make A Great Deal” Former Guy Tells Nazi Talk Show
Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator & failed führer Donald J. Turdwaffle called one of his favorite white supremacist talk show hosts yesterday to flex his oration muscles after a four day bout with painful...