GOP Huddles On How To Implement Market-Based Solution For Distributing Millions Of Unwanted Poor Non-White Full-Term Fetuses
May 7, 2022
Days After Supreme Court Leak, Leading Supply-Side Plantation Economists Discuss How New Abortion-Ban Marketplace Will Work
Now that Roe v. Wade is no longer settled law, jubilant Nazis, corporate overlords, and evangelical alternative Satanists have begun thrashing out the details on how best to punish uppity women who insist on defying God’s divine will, while also utilizing the projected windfall of unwanted offspring of the good wives and mistresses too frightened to resist the Rule of Lawyers.
“We need to know how and where to deploy this new generation of value voters,” said one anonymous source named Stephen Miller who spoke on condition of a presidential pardon once the former twice-impeach unindicted co-conspirator Grabito Pussolini is reinstated, “so they’ll be prepared to enter our great fast food and ephemeral services workforce and perform the civic duties for which God created them and rebuild Old Rummy Reagan’s supply-side plantation economy and shining community police state at the top of Blueberry hill.”
Building on the immigrant caravan diversion supply-chain created to traffic caged children on the border into roles in family businesses throughout our nation of miserable fucks, Betsy DeVos and associate Supreme Court justice Amy Cornhole Barrett-Brownnose see the potential ruling as a boon to increasing the domestic supply-chain of adoptable infants for families who can’t afford to hire even illegal immigrants to operate the small businesses which are the backbone of the Silent Majority that once made America great.
Some nattering nabobs on the radical left are suggesting that the DeVos/Brownnose efforts are a thinly disguised effort to reconfigure systemic racism for use in the 21st century and beyond, at the same time they are warning us that human civilization will end by 2050 if we don’t control the climate change hoax by 2030. Just look at how well the liberals have handled the Democrat coronavirus hoax, which has now killed more than 20 million worldwide by forcing people to social distance, wear masks, and get vaccinated. This never would have happened if Pussolini was still in charge of our insurrections.
“Childless white couples,” said Rachel Carson, a reproductive rights activist unrelated to the author of The Silent Spring, “will continue to employ eugenicly-screened surrogates to produce their entitled aryan heirs, while buying discarded children from the forced labor of minority mothers on craigslist or Etsy to produce their household help, groundskeepers, and unskilled labor for the tax shelters that make America great.”
“Well, what else does the woke mob expect us to do?” asked Fox News commentator Kayeligh MAGAninny, speaking out her highly intellectual ass, “with all the surplus poor children born to women who should have known better than to tempt God’s wrath? Isn’t it better to give them good jobs with room and board in a Christian household? Or would you rather we ate them?”
MAGAninny was immediately blasted for her comments on Twitter by situational anaesthetician, Noam Chomsky, who called her remarks “the worst kind of cartoonish Reagan jingoism, particularly in her failure to acknowledge the source of her topic, Irish pataphysical scatologist, Jack Swift, the Dean of St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Dublin.”
Mr. Swift, the inventor of the shallow draft patrol boat that bears his name and which was used to torpedo the presidential aspirations of John Kerry, United States Special Presidential Envoy for Climate, first proposed harvesting the Irish poor for food in 1758, leading directly to the infamous potato famine that caused many Irish to turn black.
Hmmm. Has anyone ever located Climate on a map? Where is it located? Is it also an autocratic democracy like our nation of miserable fucks or a shit hole country run by non-whites? These are the kinds of questions someone should ask Chuck Todd.
One topic of discussion sure to come up in current talks about harvestable young people is whether Repugnicunts can take advantage of the current brouhaha over the Founding Father’s refusal to mention the right to abort a potential Republican voter anywhere in the Constitution to push through a series of compassionately conservative compromises that will horrify liberals and even some marginally genocidal white people who have intermarried with lesser forms of life.
At the same time, Jared and Ivanka have convinced the extreme moderate wing of the farthest right nutjob fringe of their base that fund-raising by promising chances in a raffle to win a presidential pardon is so smart that only their favorite president could have come up with it, so it’s OK with them.
Since their fund-raising isnt tied to a particular candidate or campaign, it can be considered a charitable deduction for tax purposes while being marketed as an humanitarian gesture for the good of the less desirable people among us, as a way of side-stepping a lifetime ban forbidding the entire Pussolini gene pool from associating with charities because of prior plea agreements.
This should help keep the reliably racist American Family Values and Moral Minority voter solidly behind the Repugnicunt agenda of blaming the failures of reality to live up to their One Minute Wishes on the godless Democrats, who continue to come in all kinds of colors, creeds, antitheisms, and gender preferences.
Already, Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-Word, SC) has suggested that rather than shutter or repurpose profitable Confederate memorials such as the Slave Market Museum in Charleston, the Stone Mountain theme park in Georgia, the milk carton Jesus in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, or the site of Tulsa, OK Trump Rally of 2020, “we can use this historic moment to heal divisions in our country by using the monuments to Confederate infrastructure that already exist, mind you, and convert them for use as living museums to our great heritage while finding good homes for all these poor little chilluns with no place to go and no real employment prospects because of the poor choices their godless parents made.”
“There are so many opportunities for growth and innovation,” said Tucker Carlson, during a call with Vladimir Putin, whose country has recently been viciously attacked by Antifa in Ukraine, “I don’t see why the Democrats can’t get onboard with the kind of real hope and change the Founding Fathers wrote about in the Constitution and the Bill of Whites.”
Justice Clarence “Pube Tube” Thomas, weighed in on the controversy, saying that government institutions shouldn’t be “bullied” into delivering an outcome preferred by more than 80% of Americans. “God created the Supreme Court,” Thomas said, “to take these difficult decisions out of the hands of the kinds of people our laws were written to prevent us from having to suffer.”
ABOUT THE PPOCLL
The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge & Laundromat was founded by Lawrence Nada in a single-wide mobile tarpaper shanty on Mt. Gilead Rd, Pittsboro, NC in 1976, using Alfred Jarry's original recipe.
Committed to imaginary excellence, PPOCLL staff & patients offer & demand side alternatives to & which has left the USA so noxious that whales continue to beach themselves on our shores in protest.
Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge & Laundromat
Idiotville Tour Guides
P.O. Box 398
Banks, OR 97106-0398