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Florida Senate Bans Critical Gay Theory From Schools

Feb 9, 2022

Discussions Of Sexual Orientation Just As Hurtful To Christians As Accusing Them Of Racism

As America’s feckless Repugnicunts double down on their insistence that a highly-unlikable God is on their side and fuck everyone else, Florida has taken the lead in linguistic lunacy from North Carolina with its latest effort to build on Old Rummy Reagan’s supply-side plantation economic postition that all God’s chilluns need to get their minds right before the rapture.

“We don’t need our kids catching the gay in our schools,” said Eva Braun, a volunteer with the Miami-Dade Committee For American Family Values & Parental Rights. “If God had wanted for schools to teach children how to be gay, why did He destroy Saddam and Gidrah?

Americans have long prided themselves on their ignorance, often demanding that liberals explain why if they are so smart, why ain’t they rich, because everyone knows you can’t get into heaven by sticking pins in camels.

According to some megachurch tycoonss, the rapture is now scheduled to coincide with the end of a habitable planet in 2029, thanks to their reliance on stupidity and fossil fuels to appease their vengeful deity.


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