Trump Likely Committed Felony Obstruction, Federal Judge Rules
Mar 28, 2022
Trump: What A Fucking Idiot! Can You Believe This Guy?
Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and guy voted least likely to succeed in the 2020 presidential election, Dimwit Donald Grabito Pussolini took time out this morning from disputing reports that attendance at his Georgia rally over the weekend was “anemic at #BeBest and clearly his worst showing since the dysauguration fiasco in 2017,” to blast U.S. District Court Judge David Carter’s ruling earlier today when he ordered the release of 101 Dalmation’s worth of e-mails from Trump ally John Kodak Eastman to the House Jan. 6 committee.
“Clearly this is another of those low-energy Carters who hate me for being a highly successful businessman from the winning side of history,” Pussolini told Fox and Friends, after being interrupted by sporadic Spring Break gunfire during the daily morning round of golf he hosts for his permanent Secret Service detail at a cost to taxpayers of an unbelievable amount protected by a non-disclosure agreement, but which is rumored to exceed the annual gross national product of Kenya, whose chief industry is the production of fake birth certificates for the Obamas.
“What is it with these peanut farmers?” Turdwaffle whined, “The nerve it must take for an activist judge to make liberal-biased statements based on the evidence before I even have a chance to object to the release of it.”
Carter wrote in his order releasing the e-mails Eastman claimed were protected by attorney-client executive privilege that “based on the evidence, the Court finds it more likely than not that President Trump corruptly attempted to obstruct the Joint Session of Congress on January 6, 2021.”
This prompted Pussolini to threaten to sue Carter “for everything he’s worth, including his DNA, his IP, and possible trademark infringement, and don’t forget the disparagement. I don’t put up with disparagement.
“And who’s he think he is, spreaking for The Court. What a narco sis. Nobody tells me what The Court finds, unless it’s my totally legal White Supremacist Court or The Court Of Public Opinion, where I am still winning by a large margin, no matter what the liberals say. I have a 96% approval rating. 96%. Not even George Jefferson or George Hamilton had those kinds of numbers,” Pussolini shouted at a passing intern.
“And that ’s even after the Democratic steal,” he concluded, “ 96% approval rating by supporters, even though I’ve been illegally kept from my executive orders and pardoning privileges for more than a year!”
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