Tweets from Cassandra Widdershin's Blood Lion

Top 1% Slam Proposed Biden Tax Hikes

Thursday, September 16, 2021

“Whatever Happened To Our Democracy?” Rhetoricians Wonder AloudPresident Biden on Thursday proposed a modest adjustment to the massive tax breaks former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle repaid the already obscenely rich for making him possible in his 2017 tax cut. 

Scientists Find Another Planet With All The Ingredients For Life

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

“All That’s Lacking Is A Little American Stupidity,” Say ResearchersProving that the age of American exceptionalism truly has passed, if it ever truly existed, researchers in Finland have concluded that the only thing that distinguishes most livable planets in the Milky Way from Earth is that no other...

Top General Sought Chinese Help To Get Turdwaffle Banned On Twitter

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

“We Gave Him Fake Nuclear Codes,” Anonymous Source RevealsIn the days following twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle’s soiling of the carpet in the Oval Office with a strategic strike from his fecal ejection orifice, military and civilian officials scrambled to keep the blithering...

Al Qaeda Leader, Believed Dead, Appears In Video At Evander Holyfield Fight

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Turdwaffle & Son Unaware Of Allegedly deceased Terrorists Laughing Three Rows Behind ThemOsama bin Laden made a rare appearance at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida on the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, sitting three rows behind former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator...

Turdwaffle Blasts Biden For Letting Taliban Have More Weapons Than New York Repugnicunts

Saturday, September 11, 2021

Taliban Nows Outgun Americans 27 To 1Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and failed insurrectionist Donald J. Turdwaffle dropped by Greg Gutterball’s hit Fox News late night alternative tragedy show Gutpile on Wednesday to blame president Biden for not returning phone calls for important...

Texas Gov. Bud Abbott Says Abortion Bill Will Force Rapists To Move Back To Mexico

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Six Weeks Is Plenty Of Time To Get Your Tubes TiedDespite facing worldwide derision for signing one of the most restrictive anti-abortion laws in the Milky Way, Gov. Bud Abbott (Repugnicunt, TX) insists that the law will result in fewer unwanted pregnancies by offering poor women access to free birth...

Women Begin Texas Exodus

Thursday, September 2, 2021

“Fuck Those Guys” Says #MeToo SchneiderFemale Americans in the Lone Star state have wasted no time responding to Turdwaffle’s Nazi-packed Supreme Court decision to tell them what they can and cannot do with their bodies. More than 500,000 women in the Houston area alone filed change of address notifications...

Antifa Admits COVID Is On Their Side

Monday, August 30, 2021

“Very Fine People On The Wrong Side Of History Are Finally Getting Theirs,” Queen Antifa SmilesIt has apparently come to the attention of the GOP that anti-vax leaders & on-air spokesNazi personalities have begun succumbing to the Democratic Chinese coronavirus hoax in alarming numbers. Just this  week...

Laurena Boebert's Gas Problem

Saturday, August 28, 2021

Nazi Lawbreaker Concealed Fragrant Conflict Of InterestColorado congressturd Boebert’s husband has been selling her farts as renewable energy, a fact she omitted from her financial disclosure forms.
According to information obtained through a freedom of disinformation act request, PMS has learned...

Actually They Signed Up To Be Buttfucked By The GOP

Friday, August 27, 2021

Donald Jr. Pulls Up His Huggies & Gets Real Mean Girl

Incel Journalist Blugeoned With Dildo In Portland

Monday, August 23, 2021

Someone’s Got To NgoFreelance Nazi provocateur, Andy Ngo was briefly stunned yesterday when Queen Antifa snuck up behind him in a pussy-hat & wapped him upside the back of his head like a baby fur seal, prompting America’s favorite Proud Boy pastime to tweet:

Feckless Cunts Are Still Running The World

Sunday, August 22, 2021

Jarvis Cocker Was RightAnd the colored girls go: "Doo do doo do doo do do doo..."
And #TheDeadBeats go on.

Taliban To Use Vietnam As Model For New Afghanistan

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

“To The Victor Go The Spoils” Rafshan Hashemi bin Khesi Tells Press CorpsesIn a continuation of the charm offensive that has won over 85% of the Afghani people without much more than whimper, the new government in Kabul has pledged to remake itself in the image of the last stone-age nation to defeat...

H.R. McMaster Baits Liberal Media With Moderate Canine Yodeling

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Urges Marines Change Motto To “Semper Fido”“An ounce of invective is worth more than pounding sand up your own ass at the behest of some bush league failed dictator,” as Benji Franklin almost wrote in Poor Dick Head’s Almanac.

Taliban Credit Trump & Pompeo For Crucial Intelligence

Sunday, August 15, 2021

“We Couldn’t Have Done It Without Them” Says Beulah OmarHaving soundly defeated Russia & the United States in back to back knockouts of reigning superpowers, the Taliban gave a tip of the hat to former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle & his favorite coffee boy, Michael...

World Ends Suddenly

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Season Ticket Holders Demand Full Refunds In Class-Action SuitDon’t worry, average. Mexico & other poor countries will pay for it, just as they always do.

Cuomo Gives Two Week's Notice

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Joining Trump 2024 Campaign As Sensitivity CzarGovernor Andrew Cuomo gave New Yorkers his two-week notice today, saying he’s been offered a “challenging hands-on position” with the Turdwaffle administration in exile that “I cannot in good faith refuse. Given my circumstances, the best way I can help...

I Remember That Movie

Thursday, August 5, 2021

Didn’t They Say This Could Never Happen?I’ve never been one not to tell you how many times I’ve told you so. So let me just say: I told you so.
I just finished reading  several articles of what you might consider alarmist takes about what is going to happen with the imminent collapse of the Atlantic...

William Tecumseh Sherman Variant Marches Through South

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

DeSantis Threatens To Deport Hospitalized Patients Back To “Their State Of Origin”Florida Governor Ron “The Con” DeSantis has recently come under attack for his hands-off approach to dealing with the most deadly & dangerous global pandemic in more than a century, & he has routinely shrugged off any...

Laurena Boebert Ain't Got No Daddy!

Tuesday, August 3, 2021

Sarah Palin’s Mini Me Has Daddy IssuesSome things you just can’t make up. Read all about it!