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Texas Governor Abbott Primaried By Louise Costello

Sep 17, 2021

Turdwaffle Endorsement Does Not Deter Repugnicunt Challenge

Texas Gov. Bud Abbott is facing a field of more than 10 primary challengers despite his 73% approval rating among Turdwaffle supporters, many of whom are on life support for refusing to get vaccinated, wear a mask, or social distance during the worst plague to hit humanity since the early 12oos.

Abbott’s Repugnicunt adversaries range from Afro-Aryan Allen West, who lives in Florida, which is Texas for retired East Coast racists, to a group of Tik Tok Teens who pranked former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle during his sparsely attended Tulsa rally to honor the 100th anniversary of that city’s 1921 massacre of uppity thugs ancestors of the very fine people on his side.

Even should Abbott survive the GOP guantlet, he is facing a slate of Democrats, Independent, & Antifa Party candidates of various hues and cries, including Louise Costello, whose campaign posters feature the words: “Heeeeyyy, Abbott. This bad girl is coming for you!”

Perhaps the greatest threat to Abbott’s reelection is his disastrous COVID pandemic response which has decimated his deplorable base, with angry survivors vowing to vote against anyone who suggests they get their shots, wear masks, wash their hands occasionally, and social distance to prevent spread of the deadly disease that threatens to end 40 years of GOP minority rule.

Even Turdwaffle has been booed & heckled by his soon to be intubated base for suggesting they take care of themselves long enough to vote in November 2022.


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