Cites Previous Commitments To Assisting Pulitzer & Nobel Prize Screening Teams And Uncover work for Mossad
Former heavy-medal (sic) rockstar and tumescent freshman congresspenis George DeSantos (R-Word, NY) informed House Speaker Kevin “Chucky's Cheese” McCarthy (R-Word, CA) by voicemail this morning that he “must respectably (sic) decline [the] great honor” of serving on the House UnAmerican Activities, Small Business Welfare, Big Business Market-Based Solutions, and Antivax Science Committees, arguing that his constitutents demand he honor his “prior commitments to saving the world from itself and honoring its great heritage.
“I am afraid I am bound by existing non-disclosure and non-compete agreements from elaborating further,” the rotund spurting sphincter whispered during the early-morning call, “but the law is the law, and I always follow the law. Maybe next session. Thanks again, Joe, for thinking about me."