These Feckless Repugnicunts Never Cease To Please Their Constituents Who Pray Only To Vengeful Gods
As our nation of miserable fucks continues to struggle to come up with a solution to suicide-by-cheap projectile-based violence that doesn’t do harm the bottom line of the gun and ammunition manufacturers who have made our supply-side plantation economy so fucking great that no other wannabe nation of miserable fucks comes even close to our patented #AmericanCarnage, Rep. Deborah Downer Lesko (R-Word, AZ) took to the House floor on Wednesday to announce she is willing to slaughter her five grandchildren to preserve our God-given right to let good guys with guns get down with their bad selves.
“I have five grandchildren,” the allegedly sober congresswoman began her speech. “I would do anything—anything—to protect the Second Amendment rights of those grandchildren, even the woke one, to stand their ground against liberal abortionists who only want to kill off our great spirit from the sky. And I would do anything, including, as a last resort, shooting all five of them if I had to, to protect the rights of those grandchildren to stand their ground against me.
“Democrats and antifa are trying to take away my right to shoot my grandchildren to protect their God-given Second Amendment right to life, liberty, and prosciutto happiness,” Lesko concluded, “as well as the inalienable rights of many other very fine law-abiding people on both sides of our culture wars to shoot their own children. It’s called Parental Rights, people.”
When corporately-owned reporters working for the Free Press sector of our supply-side plantation economy reported Lesko’s slightly MAGAish remarks to the non-Fox News world, most citizens laughed at the clueless cunt, prompting the two-term lawbreaker to post on Twitter: “It never ceases to amaze me the lengths these goddamn gun control zealots will go to prove that the problem with all these shootings is the guns! They turned my speech about protecting our God-given Second Amendment rights and my right to protect my grandchildren from woke criminals into a claim that I would harm my own grandchildren without good Christian cause. Absolutely ridiculous!”
Lesko, who cites God, Lorena Boebert, Marjoe Faylure Malaprop, Melania #BeBest Trump, Elise Stefanik, Sarah Sirhan Palin, Sarah Chuckleberry Sanders, Tim Allen, and Laura Ingraham Cracker as her philosophical role models, has a history of letting her asshole do the talking on the campaign trail. That comment has nothing to do with her recent endorsement from former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and undisputed world champion COVID superspreader, Donaldo Grabito Pussolini, a name that has been steam-bathed in infamy.
We were almost tempted to contact Rep. Lesko’s grandchildren for their take on grandma’s inane blithering, but we’ve already overspent our entertainment budget this month.