A Billion Here, A Billion There, Chapter 47, Verse 39

“No, no, no. We will not pay.” They were driving this deal, but they forgot they were dealing with Donald Trump. Nobody deals like Donald Trump. I invented the deal. I made it an art form. 

I said, “Oh yes, you will. You will pay. We have 32,000 soldiers in South Korea. It would be a shame if something was to happen and you needed some help.”

He said, “No, no, no. Plesident Moon, nice man, good man. Velly good man.” But he said, “No,” which he should say. Why should he, when he was suckering us for so many years? So he said, “No, no.”

I said, “You’re going to have to pay five trillion or we can start talking about your jewels. You know what I’m talking?”

But then the election result turned out different than what it should have, different from the real result. They stole the real result and replaced it with a fake one that the enemy of the poeple reported.

And I just heard, they made a deal with South Korea to pay a cost of living adjustment. You know what that is? Nothing. With the money I raised, it’s like nothing. Nobody raises money like me. I’m like the father of money. Everyone likes my money.

And that’s, so they were, hold on, hold on, that was yet another country, I’m sure, that was extremely happy with the rigged results. All these countries are making out because of the steal. Maybe they were in on it.

But I did a great job in protecting them anyway. I’m pretty sure I saved them from Kim Jong-Un. So I don’t think they… I tell you what, a lot of people from South Korea come up to me and say, “Thank you very much, sir. Without you I don’t know what we would have done.”

I really, I think I saved them from Kim Jong-Un because of the relationship I developed with Kimmy. I call him Kimmie because he likes the Kardashians. He’s flattered when I call him Kimmie.

I was really tough on him at first and so was he, and we went back and forth like in the old movies. He didn’t really want to be a communist, but he was stuck. Some people just get stuck and they can’t help it. He wrote me beautiful letters, like poetry. We fell in love, OK?

Even Melania said it was beautiful. “Oh, Mr. President, sir. That is so beautiful!” It became a love fest.