All The Gnus That Give Two Shits

KY Jelly Lawmaker Proposes Extending Voting Rights To Semi-Automatic Weapons


If 30-40% Of The Guns Have Anything To Say About It, It Should Be The Law

Citing statistics showing there are more than twice as many unregistered semi-automatic firearms in the United States as there are registered voters, Rep. Thomas “Rainman” Massie (R-Word, KY) suggested during the Superbowl halftime show that the Stop The Steal movement already has sufficient weaponry to overthrow the tyrannical liberal government of our nation of miserable fucks.

“If 30 to 40 percent could agree that this was a legitimate tyranny and it needed to be thrown off they need to have sufficient firepower without asking for extra permission — it should be right there and completely available to them in their living room in order to effect the change,” Massie claimed while wolfing down a bowl of cheese grits with boiled peanuts.

“The Founding Fathers were opposed to Medicare,” Massie told his family, insisting that more than 70 percent of Americans who died of COVID, “died of the Medicare variant which the GOP opposes. If God had meant for Americans to rely on the peaceful transfer of power to preserve democracy, why did He give us all these highly effective weapons? It’s time to end Medicare once and for all, before it kill all the good guys.”