All The Gnus That Give Two Shits
Florida Safe House Under Surveillance
Bhutto Promises To Reveal Precise Location Of Bin Laden For Smart Bombing
Mahmoud "Mickey" al Zawhiri
Homeland Security Informant Desk
Pataphysical Information News Service
BETELGUESE, Andromeda Galaxy (PINS) — NASA researchers on Monday confirmed reports that an avatar claiming to be former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto seemed to suggest that she might allow a U.S. military strike to eliminate al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden once she is installed as the leader of Pakistan under free and fair elections conducted by “our supporters in the United States.”
"I would hope that I would be able to take Osama bin Laden myself without depending on the incompetent and corrupt Americans. But if I was not allowed do it myself… well, of course we are fighting this war together and [I] would seek their cooperation in eliminating Mr bin Laden,” Bhutto allegedly said in a virtual interview disavowed by BBC World News America.
Bhutto has already bought tickets on Air America Airlines to return to Pakistan on October 18 after eight years of exile. A quick Google search indicates there is no such airline, and imaginary calls to Bhutto, Pakistan, the U.S. government in Crawford, and the BBC were not immediately answered.
Bhutto claims to have been in talks with Pakistani strongman Perverts Musharraf about a power-sharing arrangement that would be a win-win-win situation for the U.S. and its puppets in the central asian region.
While U.S. intelligence officials claim bin Laden and other al Qaeda leaders are being protected by tribal leaders in an area of northwestern Pakistan near the Afghanistan border that is largely inaccessible even to Pakistani forces, Bhutto insists that bin Laden has been operating an Arby’s franchise in Florida for several years and routinely posts on liberal Web sites, including Al Franken Web and The Daily Show Forum.
Bush administration officials fear that unilateral U.S. action against al Qaeda safe havens in Florida could appear to be another terrorist attack by foreign born extremists.