You Can’t Argue With The Facts

While liberals, scientists, expert researchers, & realists continue to insist that vaccines have been proven safe & effective, there is a growing consensus among average Americans that there is no consensus to be reached when it comes to objective reality.

Here at the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge & Laundromat, we prefer to see the world as it is rather than how some would like us to believe, so there’s no getting around the fact that of the 204 million Americans so far fully vaccinated against COVID, nearly 17% of them died after getting one or more jabs.

As expected, the CDC fails to categorize these deaths correctly, often settling on the most obvious cause of expiration, such as tire tracks or hastily harvested internal organs, when the underlying cause invariably can be traced back to the inescable fact that nearly every single victim had received one or more vaccines during their ludicrously incoherent lives.

Among the most frequently cited causes of deaths that were probably triggered by a vaccine include:

• Chronic bromidrosis
• Gun violence
• Impotence
• Cancer
• Heart Disease
• Stroke
• Accidents
• Flatulence
• Alzheimer’s disease
• Diabetes
• Renal failure
• The heartbreak of psoraisis
• Acne
• Pneuomonia
• Spontaneous combustion
• Suicide by cop

Pass it on.