Poll: Most American Insist They Are Going To Heaven


Most Also Confess They Don’t Really Believe In God

To explain the seeming discrepancy, supply-side experts trotted out a series of PowerPoint presentations that proved, conclusively, that American ingenuity will find a way to provide true-believers with their highly anticipated post-life reward for whatever heinous acts they have gladly performed in defense of our fundamental freedoms.

And anyone not satisified with this post can go fuck itself.

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