Reaganomics Created The Baby Formula Shortage


The Supply-Side Plantation Economy Is Finally Hitting Its Stride

While everyone is busy blaming the Biden Administration for the shortage of baby formula to feed a growing population of unwanted fetuses carried to term because that’s #TheAmericanWay, the seeds of this totally preventable mass slow-motion infanticide event were planted during the halcyon days of Old Rummy Reagan’s grip on the disabled imaginations of our largely uneducated American public.

As my old man used to say whenever I pointed out the obvious: “For this I sent you to college?” although he never sent me to college. I ran away to college, like many young people with functioning brains in my neighborhood.

#IToldYouSo when the demented former host of Death Valley Days was driving California into the ground to celebrate our nation of miserable fucks’ bicentennial as he gutted public education and healthcare programs to stem the tide of imaginary welfare queens who were creating massive traffic jams with their tricked-out Cadillacs, making a mockery of President Lyndon Bane Johnson’s devastating War on Poverty, which the poor were destined to lose because they could afford to fight.

The legacy of trickle-down economics is that now most of the nation smells of rich urine, not just tenement and subway stairways and even the dumbest motherfuckers are packing weapons of mass destruction in case they need to deal with roving bands of negro youths and their antifa allies or a young girl trying to end her pregnancy.

When Che told 60s activists he envied them for living in the belly of the beast, I’m pretty sure he was joking. Americans are the equivalent of the gregarines in the bellies of termites that allow them to digest even pressure-treated pilings propping up vacation homes along our quickly disappearing coastal playgrounds.

Mrs. Faustroll & I decided against bringing more idiots into this world during the Summer of Love after reading an article about how the baby formula industry was engaged in killing off large swaths of poor people who have to use contaminated water to prepare formula for their offspring because they no longer had time to breastfeed because of working all the great jobs building the disposable geegaws and doodads America was no longer willing to produce themselves for those shitty wages.

Anyone who still believes the law of supply and demand doesn’t involve creating an addiction that American ingenuity will soon enough figure out how to profit from should think outside the pine box for a change. The baby formula shortage is just the cost of doing business, and anyone who objects to the rich gouging the poor struggling to keep their largely non-white progeny alive is not a true very fine patriotic American.

The Reagan Revolution was easily the worst thing that ever happened to planet Earth, and now everyone, not just the stupid scumbags who venerate the only assassinated president to serve two full terms despite being replaced by a surgically modified porpoise, gets to enjoy the thrill ride of freedumbocracy and the sixth global extinction event it has engendered.


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