Before I Get Too Far In The Weeds Over SCROTUMS Overturning Roe V. Wade


This Is About Retaining American Family Values. Read The Fucking Leaked Document

In the great American tradition of we no can do since things ain’t broke, ain’t no need to fix them, Justice Sam The Sham Alito, an appointee of President Fubar W. Bush, lays shit out as clearly and plainly as former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Grabito Pussolini and your insurrectionist family members do.

“We hold that Roe and Casey must be overruled,” according to Alito. “It is time to heed the Constitution and return the issue of aboution to the people’s elected representatives” conveniently not mentioning the efforts of the people’s elected representatives, particularly in the shit hole states, who consider their prime directive to be preventing uppity people from casting votes for other candidates who might be more amenable to their particular positions.

Oh yeah, and those same elected representatives still somehow find spare time to restrict what children can be taught in public schools so they won’t be upset that their elected representatives spend most of their time doing shit that is likely to kill them before they get to be one third my age.

Because that’s The American Way!

Here’s another great quote from the leak, revealing why human civilization is destined to die in agony before 2200: “Abortion presents a profound moral question. The Constitution does not prohibit the citizens of each state from regulating or prohibiting abortion. The inescapable conclusion is that a right to an abortion is not deeply rooted in the Nation’s history and traditions.

Let me just mention here that the Constitution does not prohibit the citizens of each state from regulating or prohibiting complete morons from serving in government or in the judiciary, but I realize I should stick to the topic at hand.

Because that’s also The American Way, which is why we can say we’re addressing climate change by reducing the use of fossils while making more fuel available at lower prices at the pump, mostly to avoid fusillades of deadly projectiles from the largest non-voting majority in our nation of miserable fucks: registered and unregistered firearms.

Do not forget that these same assholes don’t want kids to be taught what is “deeply rooted in the Nation’s history and traditions,” aka CRT, or Critical Race Theory, including:

  • Slavery
  • Police forces began as slave catchers to appease slave owners in states that thought people could be owned
  • Police brutality on behalf of corporate and governmental overlords
  • Wars of convenience to entertain and enrich the wealthy
  • Genocide of indigenuous peoples
  • Assassination as a tool for political expression, both foreign and domestic
  • Medical experimentation on non-whites without their knowledge or permission
  • Routine sacrifice of the children of the working class to ensure the ruling class’s children can work on the family farm or run the family business or one day become elected representatives who can send the children of a new crop of working stiffs to die for them
  • The commitment to the idea that rape is impossible because a woman with her skirt up can run faster than a man with his pants down

I could go on for hours, but only the most average of you doesn’t get the picture by now. May the rest of you catch long COVID.

Trust me: Not having already killed yourself is not considered a badge of honor here at the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge, and Laundromat.

Consider yourself informed. 

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