US Agency Acknowledges Damage To Dinosaur Tracks In Utah


Our Bad. Sorry. What You Gonna Do About It Bitches?

According to reports we have no intention of verifying, heavy machinery used to produce campaign and fund-raising videos for former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Grabito Pussolini and several of his poopyheaded Repugnicunt allies irreparably damaged dinosaur tracks in Utah, formerly part of Pangea, that were more than 112 million years old, give or take a few weeks.

The damage at the Grassy Knoll Dead Kennedys Memorial Dinosaur Tracksite is catastrophic, according to experts not allowed to speak on the record because of various non-disclsoure and non-disparagement agreements, although holdovers from the previous corrupt and unlawful administration dispute those claims in a recent report (fully-funded by small online donations intended to Save America) entitled: “Move Along Now. This Is A Teapot In A Tempestuous Relationship between A Black Kettle And Its White Owner Who Shall Remain Anonymous.”

The RNC declined comment on reports that recent fund-raising e-mails from Pussolini’s Save America PAC were offering his best and most uneducated supporters the opportunity to win “an actual dinosaur track from the kind of liberal Democrat we are working so hard to make extinct, with extreme prejudice, but legally” in exchange for a monthly donation of as little as five dollars. The first 100 contributors also had a shot at winning “a fragment from the crushed paw of an Independant triceratops from Vermont or New Hampshire, whichever is available.”

Attorneys for families who claim to be direct descendants of the dinosaurs in Utah whose footprints have been “exploited to prop up a corrupt supply-side human culture of plantation economics that preys on tourists who are unaware of the ongoing abuse of our foresaurs and their foresaurs before them.”

This is shaping up to be the kind of epic battle that forced The Rule Of Law to evolve into The Rule Of Lawyers as America’s best hope of handling Critical Extinction Theory (CET) in a discreet manner that does not fix things God considers perfect while dismissing contrary opinions while ensuring that measurable value is added to the final product every profitable step of the way.

Anyone remember how the Kennewick Man custody battle turned out?

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