Rocket About To Slam Into The Moon Was Launched By North Korea, Not SpaceX


Kim Jong Un Calls Hypersonic Missile Test A Resounding Success

Ending weeks of speculation about who originally tossed the litter about to land on the moon, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un Kardashian took credit for the planned rendezvouz with the lunar surface on March 4th, saying “Just wait until you see what we do next, you capitalist pigs!”

Western experts doubt Kim’s truthfulness, noting that the rocket for only one of seven North Korean launches in January could not be accounted for, although that test involved a Hwasong-12 inermediate range ballistic missile (IRBM) not believe to be capable of escaping earth orbit.

Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and everybody’s punch-drunk grandpa, Donald J. Turdwaffle expressed a mixture of outrage and admiration for an autocratic he has exchanged numerous love letters with, saying: “I’m not surprised. Great personality and very smart. Good combination. He’s the kind of guy you expect to go to the moon. He’s shooting stuff off on behalf of the Korean people who want to live on the moon, a very worthy, very smart starlord, absolutely. I’m gonna send him a MAGA hat for congratulations! And you can buy one too at our Web site to help Save America First!” 

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