Octomom vows to birth on


More Than 7 Deadly Sinners

Published by drfaustroll under Blather, Literary Terrorism, Pataphysics, Phlakes February 24, 2009

To strains of I am Wombman, Hear Me Roar, serial mother Dody Decker-Hedron left the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge, and Laundromat this morning, telling her supporter that she planned to double the size of her brood before Christmas.

Decker-Hedron (no relation to former Oregasm Olympic complainer Mary Contrary Decker-Salami) recently sued the liberal media for libel for reporting on her recent spawning of several children who are currently in custody for suspicion of illegal fetal sexual contact, after it was revealed that she only had 6 embroyos donated by former Republican vice presidential candidate and Alaskan governor Sarah Sirhan Palin which were allegedly fertilized by former Illinois governor Rod Arrrrrgh Blagojevich.

Waving from a horse-drawn pumpkin, the single mother of fourteen, all of whom are named after the children of American presidents born after 1956, laughed heartily while announcing the recent implantation of an additional 23 embroyos donated by the Church of Appliantology.

In quasi-related news, Decker-Hedron has agreed to be the voice behind a series of radio commercials for Beatific Bile Farm and Boutique.

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