Freedumb Convoy Blows Attempt To Paint Protests As Ukraine Tribute

Mar 8, 2022

Maybe Painting Z’s On Our Trucks Was Not The Best Idea We’ve Had

The America First Freedumb Convoy has been plagued by poor planning and monumental incompetence from the beginning. First, organizers neglected to check to verify the date of the State of the Union Address (SOTU) they intended to disrupt.

Arriving a full five days too late for the SOTU, with mask mandates being lifted and the popularity of their movement dying a little more mile after mile, the Freedumbshits suddenly realized they actually had no demands as preconditions for their withdrawal from the Capitol, making this masturbatory indulgence a lot like Vlad the Impudents invasion of Ukraine.

Sensing that tying their patriotic movement to reinstate the former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator to the Ukrainian resistance couldn’t do their image any harm, the very fine people in charge of white supremacist brand and identity searched for a noncommittal way to make it appear they were aware of Ukranian heroism without alienating Herr Turdwaffle.

How could they possibly fuck up basking in the good will Ukrainians are currently enjoying?

You guessed it.

These nimrods painted big “Z’s on the sides of their vehicles, not bothering to fact-check a Yossarian Universal News Service report that Ukrainians were painting “ ’s” on captured Russian tanks in honor of Zorro, one of Ukraine's legendary national heroes.

Even a cursory ogle of Google would have taught them this symbol is part of a Russian propaganda campaign and used to express support for the invasion by the ordinary folks back home.

Somebody’s face must be red.