Antivaxxer Finds Cure For COVID

Mar 1, 2022

May Be A Hell Of A Lot More Iffy Than Getting The Vaccine

Karen Humongous Whitestones, 55, was a rabid anti-vaxxer whose extended family voted a straight, white, holier-than-thou ticket “for hundreds of years back to when America was great and pursuing its manifest destiny to bring the word of our savior to the heathens!” until she first heard the dulcet tones of former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and the phlegmish guy God would most likely cast as his only misbegotten son in any sequel to The Art Of Donald Jesus Turdwaffle: The Life and Times Of A Fly-Fisher Of Men.

Whitestones was instrumental in convincing ordinary uneducated Americans that they thought they were finally mad as hell and unwilling to take it anymore that all the smart money was on not getting vaccinated against a deadly and highly-contagious pathogen forecast to kill more than 4.4 million Americans by 2023 unless the country made at least some non-threatening gesture to stop its march across the country like some viral General Will Bill Tecumseh Sherman.

“But I’ve got the perfect cure!” Whitestones gasped, as she slipped under and was intubated.

So it goes.