Facebook Reportedly Cancels Planned Move To Norilsk

Oct 4, 2021

Fuck Zuck Movement Grows As Company Embraces Alternative  Damage Control

As shares of the company plummetted following disclosures that systemic malfeasance, misfeaseance, & nonfeasance are a key teaching of the tech giant’s corporate culture, bemused citizens around the world are voicing concern as reports of late night moving operations & unexplained outages have rocked the platform.

Rumors abound that the company has decided to retrench in St. Petersberg, where its parent company has its home offices, after failed to secure a lease on the former Gulag in Norilsk.

Sources close to the Kremlim (who spoke only on condition that we mention their names and include a decent head shot to accompany this story) say Facebook has been a wholly-owned subsidiary of VK since 2006 as part of a complex transaction involving Gazprom, Ukraine, & Jared Kushner.

We no longer try to contact anyone to verify our reporting or ask for comment. That’s how antifa rolls.