Facebook Denies It Has Deleted Secret Service E-Mails

Jul 19, 2022

We Gave Everything We Had To Trump’s Election Integrity Team On January 7th, Says Zuck

Sidestepping questions about whether Meta (formerly FaceBook) logs all communications of every member, including their extended family, co-workers, relatives, neighbors, or law enforcement survelliance anyone might be under at any given moment in our supply-side plantation economy and community police state, Felicia Delictio told a clot of conservative cub reporters who had been refused YU News Service press credentials this morning outside Meta headquarters in the sixth sub-basement of metaverse Alpha Prime.

Turns out, Delicto says, licking her lips, that our deadbeat parent company had indeed inadvertantly captured every text message created on any server accessed by any service provider or created on any electronic platform on this dying planet” of miserable fucks since February 2004, until just recently when someone asked the Risk Management Division if this practice was perhaps wrong, or even illegal.

“What?” the compliance officer asked. “You didn’t hear this question from me.

Delictio spoke on condition of anonymity because she is currently  on the FBI’s least wanted list and currently homeless with outstanding warrants and  was not authorized to speak for the company. We apologize for the inconvenience.

We didn’t attempt to contact Meta, assuming they would respond to our unbelievable report with denials that their massive trove of personal data even exists, despite the concern of some deep state authorities that billions of personal records for ordinary American idiots might be used by Zuckerberg in his ongoing negotiations with alien invaders from Tralfamadore.

If this is true, when the first wave of celestial occupiers overwhelms our fledgling Space Force, every very fine patriotic American on both sides will be at risk because The Truth is out there and now it knows wbere you live.

You don’t want to end up like the former Meta employee who shared information with us shortly before he was terminated with extreme prejudice for attempting to violate Meta’s Terms of Service.

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The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge & Laundromat was founded by Lawrence Nada in a single-wide mobile tarpaper shanty on Mt. Gilead Rd, Pittsboro, NC in 1976, using Alfred Jarry's original recipe.

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