DeSantis Moves To Ban Teaching About Uranus In Grades K-12
Jun 11, 2022
Proposes Several Amendments To Florida’s Parental Whites In Education Act
In his ongoing effort to ban all books and ideas from Florida, beginning in the classrooms, Gov. Ron “Little Don” DeSantis (R-Word, FL) took aim at his mocking critics today by proposing an amendment to his landmark Lily White Parental Rights Of American Family Values Indoctrination Act, which allows parents to prevent their children from being taught anything they disagree with.
(Editor’s Note: Lily White was the pre-adolescent girl who felt so bullied by woke ideology that she committed suicide by running herself over with a truck.)
“That’s why we have a Constitution,” DeSantis said, “So we can tell the government where to stick its wokeness and critical rape theory. We’ve had enough of rubbing our noses in our shit. We get it, but when are you going to get it? Antifa is the real threat to our way of life, no matter how funny you think that is, making fun of our sacred people and their great white institutions. We won’t let you drag our minds through the gutter. The puns have to stop!”
DeSantis intends to include “a complete list of unhelpful words, phrases, and ideas that should not be tolerated in public marketplace of ideas because they have been proven to make certain people angry, unhappy, or upset, which should not be permitted under the Florida Constitution, according to our latest polling.”
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