In Ten Years It Will Be Too Late

Citing growing evidence that the planet may not be fit for habitation by 2029, Repugnicunts in the House and Senate this morning issued a joint resolution praising President Joe Biden’s harsh rhetoric against Russia’s latest threats to invade Ukraine, with party leadership urging  the lameduck Democrat to engage in a series of preemptive strikes against the former superpower “while it is still profitable, instead of worrying about domestic hoaxes like climate change and the Kung Flu, which former President Trump handled with a few perfect phone calls before his administration was sabotaged by illegal mail-in voters in 2020.”