Turdwaffle Urges Deplorable Base To Embrace Sleepwalking Over Wokeness

Aug 23, 2021

“You Too Can Learn To Run A Business In Your Sleep,” Grifting Guru Tells Uneducated Acolytes

Amidst his hours-long rant in Cullman, Alabama, against antifa, women, immigrants, clean air, socialism, young people, education, COVID, mask mandates, blacks, hispanics, asians, nature, environmentalists, Greenpace, the NFL, the NBA, the EPA, Biden, & the Taliban, former twice-impeached unidicted co-conspirator & Vladimir Putin fanboy extraordinaire Donald J. Turdwaffle told his frothing followers: “I meant business when I said I was making American great again. It’s right there in the preamble to the Constitution, right before you get to the ten commandments.

“If there’s one thing Mitt the Shit Romney & you & I can agree on it’s that the floundering fathers knew that corporations were the best kind of people. Did you know that the first draft said: “We the businesspeople, in order to get rid of unions, which cannot be perfect, because capitalism is not broken, & we pledge to fight socialists until there are no more of them. Amen. Who’s with me?”

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