NRA Cancels 150th Anniversary Out An Abundance Of Fear

Aug 25, 2021

Refuses To Stand Its Ground Against COVID For Second Consecutive Year

The American Nazi Rifle Association (NRA) canceled its 2021 Annual Membership Meeting scheduled for Houston from September 3-5 this morning in a conference call with its Fox News communications firm. 

The NRA released the following statement directly to the press because Kayleigh Maganinny has already exhausted her quota of lies, misstatements, & other fabrications for her primary sugar daddies this month.

Due to this unfortunate Kung Flu threatening the safety of our NRA family and community, we sincerely regret to inform you that we have decided to cancel the 2021 Annual Meeting & Skeetshoot in the great state of No New Taxes.

This cancellation applies to all events and meetings that were scheduled in Houston, including the confidential meetings to prepare for all contingencies during our presumed presence in our nation’s Capitol on September 18, 2021 for our great president’s scheduled reinstatement. We will provide future notification regarding a rescheduled date for the annual Meeting of Members once the new regime is sworn in.

We make this difficult decision after analyzing relevant data regarding COVID-19 in Harris County, Texas, particularly among the patriotic unvaccinated, which includes most of our paying membership, although this is not primarily a financial decision.

We also consulted with media professionals, local white supremacists, major sponsors & exhibitionists, and many mainstream NRA members who wanted us to take a stronger stand to stop the steal, before arriving at this decision. Any inference that this action was taken without an abundance of caution are fake news.

The NRA Annual Meeting welcomes tens of thousands of gun-loving people who like putting holes in stuff that’s just asking for it, and involves many events, meetings, and social gatherings among like-minded projectile dysfunction enthusiasts, not “socialist gatherings,” as some in the liberal media have taken to report in their mocking elitist tone.

Among the highlights of our annual meeting are acres of exhibitionist space featuring the latest and greatest in personal defensive technology that will allow you to stand your ground in a variety of situations with a high probability of acquittal should a grand jury choose to indict, which is highly unlikely, given our 150 year commitment to your personal irresponsiblity.

And don’t forget our great fashion accessories and the greatest offering of adventures and group gatherings where you can hunt for trophy at risk species that many of our most fanatic members travel hundreds, and some even thousands, of miles to experience.

We realize that it would prove difficult, if not impossible, to offer the full guest experience that our NRA members deserve as the city rolls out dozens of mobile field hospital and portable morgues to deal with the problems caused by antifa & Black Lives Matter terrorists, so we have decided to postpone our meeting until the odor improves.

Go with God.

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