Did Blagojevich And Palin Provide Octuplet Embroyos?

Apr 15, 2021

Originally published by drfaustroll under Invective, Pataphysics, Phlakes, Phyddling About February 1, 2009

In yet another example of the liberal media playing gotcha journalism with beleaguered politicians, former Illinois Governor Rod “Arrrrr” Blagojovich was asked by e-mail today why he had yet to comment on his involvement in the case of serial mother Nadya Milosevic, after a neighbor allegedly commented that the only male she had seen entering the Milosevic household during the past year “looked like that crook with the big hair from Chicago.”

Other neighbors who apparently agreed to speak off camera offered their own impressions of reality, suggesting that the guy who looked like Blagosevich was often accompanied by “that gun-crazy lady from Alaska who dresses like Tina Fey and can’t act worth a damn.”

Ivan R. Wallace, a spokeseggman for the fertility clinic where Milosevic worked and used an employee discount to fund her addiction to motherhood, would have refused to comment for this story if asked, citing both “patient confidentiality and employee privacy rights. We would never knowingly impregnate a young woman with embryos from corrupt politicians without getting a kick-back, and our records show no indication of illegal payments from either Blagojovich or Palin during 2008.”

When Wallace was asked if it was true that Milosevic was being treated for pregnancy disease, which is usually found in sheep carrying triplets who are suffering from carbohydrate deficiency in the last month of pregnancy, he refused to comment, except to note that Milosevic was “most assuredly not a sheep and she was not carrying triplets. To suggest that we would implant eight embroyos in a women to prevent twin lamb disease is outrageous!”

While the international debate rages over the ethics involved in enabling a adrenocorticotropic addict to give birth to the equivalent of a basketball team over the period of eight years, liberal Demoblicans are crying foul over the prospect of eight genetically identical Republicrats running for national office in 2042. “It’s just not fair,” said a member of al Franqen who spoke only on condition of anonymity. “You don’t see liberals trying to clone themselves by renting the uterus of some single mom with a screw loose.”

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