You Thought I Was Making It Up 

Former Turdwaffle Director of Dysinformation Kellyanne Conway called into Fox & Friends this afternoon to say she doubted anyone will question of the power of alternative facts again after reports of widespread damage in Bowling Green, Kentucky, following an outbreak of natural lawlessness stretching from Arkansas to the Ohio River Valley.

“I don’t want to hear any more criticism of my Bowling Green Massacre remarks,” the haughty attention whore smirked. “It’s not my fault I can also see into the future!”