Sep 3, 2017

Reflections on a dragon booger

By now everyone has seen this odd video about the bryozoan from the Lost Lagoon in Vancouver, British Columbia, eh?

I came across it at Popular Science, which has an entertaining write-up.

What was news to me was that assholes can be either internal or external, and when you’re living in water it doesn’t really matter where your asshole, penis, pussy, or mouth is because whatever you excrete, you’re swimming in it. Sort of like Houston after Hurricane Harvey but currently two thirds of Earth’s surface.

Only a scientist would get up one morning and say: “You know, I bet not all assholes are the same, and you can tell the difference between them by watching whether they shit all over everything or they hold it inside and live lives of desperate quietude. I think I’ll study that for the rest of my life!”

Dragon boogers are extroverted assholes. We all know plenty of introverted assholes. There will probably even be transverted assholes after some asshole complains that this site is obviously too binary for its own good. I prefer averted assholes whenever possible. Perverted assholes are also pretty bad.

Although these so-called dragon boogers look like a single living blob, they are actually a commune of individual organisms who band together for the greater good to share a single asshole, much like 40 million American voters continue to rally around their singular asshole, Russian Turd Puppet Donald Trump.

Read the entire Popular Science article and share it with family and friends, many of whom may be the kind of living organisms that gather together just to be repulsive as possible wallowing in the slime below the bottom of the barrel because that’s what’s going to make America great again.

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