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Turdwaffle Threatens To Leave Country Unless He Is Reinstated

Jan 19, 2022

What Good Is Winning In A Landslide If Antifa Won’t Let Me Rule?

Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator & the epitome of American Family Values, Donald J. Turdwaffle, responded today to news that Eric, the son he sired with the help of Gary Busey jumping up & down on his buttocks, pleaded the fifth in response to 500 questions attempting to establish the retarded lad’s identity, with a simple shrug of his shoulders. “It is what it is,” the failed führer told his Russian handlers in a series of texts posted on GETR. 

“I never liked that kid,” Turdwaffle admitted to Tucker Carlsen in a secretly-taped conversation on the 10th hole at his Doral golf course, during an Open House held to announce his plans to sell more than 2,300 luxury homes, as well as a shopping mall anchored by an upscale Walmart, to Repugnicunts who refuse to accept the climate hoax, or acknowledge routine nuisance flooding that will put most of south Florida under three feet of water at high tide by 2030. 

“It’s totally worth it,” said Carlsen, who said he was buying ten lots to give as gifts “to the nearly 800 political prisoners held in horrid conditions for protesting the rigged 2020 election.

“Living on a world-class golf course with America’s favorite president, among thousands of other like-minded patriots & evangelical leaders, it’s a dream come true, like being seated on the right side of God.”

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