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Top 1% Slam Proposed Biden Tax Hikes

Sep 16, 2021

“Whatever Happened To Our Democracy?” Rhetoricians Wonder Aloud

President Biden on Thursday proposed a modest adjustment to the massive tax breaks former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle repaid the already obscenely rich with  his 2017 tax cut for making him possible. 

“Let me ask you this,” Grandpa Joe asked our intrepid reporter, Gabby Colon in response to an unrelated question, “where does it say in all those dusty law books that all the tax breaks in the American tax code go to corporations and the assholes at the very top? I think it’s enough, I’m tired of it.”

The 1% immediately fired back at Joe’s socialist attack with several salvos before Uncle Joe’s spittle was even dry on the podium.

“Dear Mr. President,” @richardhead posted in a Twitter thread, “Corporations are people too, just like you. We don’t appreciate being looked down upon by you East Coast elites who only think of us when you need something.

“Well, we’re through with you goldbricks and welfare cheats. In this country, the majority rules, and we have the majority of the money. So we have final say in what is funded and how it is funded. That’s how democracy works.

“If you don’t like it, you should move to one of those socialist countries where everyone agrees to pay their fair share. 

“Where in our Contract With America did we ever agree to pay any share, much less a fair one, and just who exactly is deciding what a fair share is?

“Don’t forget to allow for a lengthy appeals process.”

“See you in the courts.”

We briefly considered contacting the White House for comment before publishing this story, but what the hell…

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