I Cut My Hair & Dyed It Brown To Blend In With The Thugs
Capitol rioter Jenna Ryan served 60 days in prison after pleading guilty to being an insurrectionist asshole, and apparently has learned one very important lesson that is protected by an ironclad non-disclosure agreement.
“I had to close my real estate business. I had to doctor up my name a little,” the proudly unrepentant MAGA-cap-wearing Turdwaffle sphincter-slurper admitted, “but I still sold a ton of houses last year. I made out like a bandit thanks to the COVID relief programs.”
Ryan’s new real-estate Website, America First Real Estate, has a picture of a grinning Ryan with the caption “Jennifer Lawrence (No, not the Hunger Games actress LOL!)”
The Dallas Grassy Knoll News reported that Ryan’s real-estate license has listed “Jennifer Lawrence” as one of the aliases she could use to sell property with as early as January 21, 2010, the day “Winter’s Bone” won the Sundance Film Festival.
This date was also, coincidentally, the same day the US Supreme Court gave corporations equal rights to the very people they are today free to hire, fire, train, demand allegiance from, tell who to vote for, sell to, steal from, and eventually kill without fear of consequence, because that’s The American Way!
I’m still so glad to be among the first of this batch of dinosaurs to be laughing his ass off at what’s coming next.