Gov DeSantis Tries To Wrest Whine Country Title From Oregon
“This is the November election steal all over again,” Florida’s embattled governor told a crew of volunteeers helping remove 600,000 tons of dead fish and marine mammals from the Tampa Bay area, which he blamed on the recent surge in COVID infections, hospitalizations, & deaths that has turned the state into the nation’s top hot spot for the Delta, Lamdba, Sherman, & Doomsday variants. According to CDC sources who recently relocated their families to safer continents, the Lambda variant is particularly troublesome because it appears to be resistant to existing vaccines.
“Remember on November 3, 2020, when the first results of the presidential election came in & our greatest president ever, Donald Jasper Trump, was so far ahead that no other Republican was even close? That’s how my plan for dealing with this coronavirus hoax was. They said mask up. They said wash your hands. They said social distance, but we did none of that here in Florida & we had the lowest reported infections and dead people of any retirement home in America. But suddenly here we are leading the nation in new cases & our hospitals are overrun with immigrants.
“So how did this happen? I’ll tell you how it happened. It happened because of Joe Bidens immigration policies that imports new viruses from Central America over our border, which is like a strainer, not a wall, & then theny ship all the sick ones to Florida to make us look bad.
“But we’re about to put an end to this stupidity. Starting today, only people who can prove they were born in Florida can used our healthcare system. People who try to get healthcare without proof of being a native of Florida, except for the indigenous tribes who we defeated, will be immediately deported to their country of Oregon, We are done playing around with these Socialists. Enough is enough!”