Heftier & Stiffer Than Ever
Less than nine months after getting his schwantz wedgied between Iran & a hard place, CNN mass debation specialist Jeffrey “Rootin” Toobin is back behind his desk at CNN, getting paid to spew whatever the First Amendment industry is willing to pay hi to shill.
Jaunty Jeff wasted no time apologizing for choking the chicken in front of a live remote audience last fall in a fit of pandemic passion, saying it was “a simple bonerheaded mistake” to stroke his kielbasa at a company all-hands meeting, when he was supposed to be an attentive listener worried about the future of the news & entertainment sectors of the supply-side plantation economy, especially after the intense criticism he received from his peers after the incident.
“You call that a stiffy?” “I’ve seen better hard-ons on a toaster,” & ”Where’s the rest of it?” read some of the more socially acceptable comments on Toobin’s Contrition blog entry were three of more than 45 entries in the frequently asked questions section of Toobin’s Across The RubItIcon mini-blog.
Toobin assured viewers that he invested heavily in penis pumps & salami enhancement during his gestation period & is convinced that if he ever happens to sleep beat his meat during a future broadcast that viewers will be impressed at the obvious hard work he has put into self-improvement.