Former Unindicted Co-Conspirator Blows Off Steam
“What’s love got to do with foreign policy?” Donaldo Turdwaffle’s incoming phone mail message began this morning. “I remember the outrage from the liberal media when Mrs. Melanie wore a stylish coat to one of our migrant children welcoming centers on the border, which Mrs. Usurper hasn’t even bothered to acknowledge is part of the great beautiful wall that these Democrat illegalists won’t even try to take credit for, but now the witch hunters are falling over themselves praising Intern Jill for wearing a jacket with “Love” in rhinestones on the back. So unfair!”
Mr Turdwaffle, who claims he was unfairly driven from office by hordes of antifa zombies aided by the Israeli-ISIS coalition, in coooperation with the Khmer Rouge & Shining Path Social & Athletic Clubs International, LLC, has promised to serve as president for life despite not being elected if his well-armed supporters succeed in reinstating him this August, on 101st celebration of the birth of Charles Bukowski, America’s poet laureate of the downtrodden & fed up.
Increasingly isolated after having been banned from most social media platforms & being forced to shutter his own blog for being too easy to spoof, Mr. Turdwaffle is now limited to getting his message out on voice-mail messages. Unfortunately, as of this post, Tix Tok Teens have apparently flooded Turdwaffle’s inbox with spurious requests for tickets to his August dysauguration, with new callers being told: “The voice-mail you are trying to reach is already full of shit & can take no additional messages. Please try your luck later.”