One Million Mystery Mett Meals Served!
The Anthropophagic Society of the Upper Peninsula (TASOTUP) announced it has met its fiscal third quarter guidance for its subsidiary, Dahmer & Donne alternative nutritional fast food restaurants. Critics of the high-concept niche casual dining & take out experience argued that an all-flesh menu was targeted at too small a clientele to become profitable, but then came COVID.
“Remember back last spring when bodies were piling up in refrigerated containers? Everyone agrees that was a tragedy, but it was also a great opportunity,” said a high-ranking TASOTUP executive who spoke only on condition of anonymity. “You know how people talk,” she added.
Dahmer & Donne is currently embroiled in a series of civil and criminal actions for its use of the Trump administration’s Payroll Protection Plan while also serving as the regional COVID corpse collection & composting center for the upper midwest.
Representatives of TASOTUP & Dahmer & Dunne declined comment on this report after repeated phone & text messages.