The Epic of KuklaM*A*S*H
We Hit Them With 59 Of Our Best Shots
Sep 2, 2021
We Sure Made A Mesoptamia, Chapter 20, Verse 58
But the 59 missiles were an incredible display under my great administration. Nobody saw it coming, which is the element of surprise, which one of the big elements that America had forgotten when the Democrats were in charge.
But once I fired those 59 shots & killed so many of my enemies, everyone in the world knew not to mess around with our great America. We weren’t going to take this shit anymore. But, sir… No buts. It’s our way or the no way, Jose.
They knew that. They understood our power and that I would not hesitate to use it in defense of our citizens and our interests, including our pastimes and our great religion. And the Taliban understood that maybe as well as anybody.
This would never have happened if I was President. Our country was so respected. Everybody respected our country. China respected our country. Korea respected our country. Duterte and Bolsonaro respected our country.
We took in billions and billions of dollars in taxes and tariffs from China. They never gave us 25 cents in hundreds of years before that, maybe thousands. We saved their asses from Japan and Korea. They never gave us the time of day.
But then of course the China virus came and it was a lot different. My attitude toward China changed. As I personally told the Taliban leader and everybody else that needed to listen to what I was saying…
Because when I talk, I’m like that Barney dinosaur on Wall Street that everyone gets quiet to hear what he’s saying, so they knew if anyone ever double-crossed the United States of America, it would be the last thing they ever did. We said it loud and clear, right, Suleimani?
And you knew it better than anybody in Alabama who knew it. Remember when I warned you about hurricane Dottie?
Nobody wanted to let you know it was coming because of your great heritage, which we all share, but they want to tear down our great monuments to our great leaders of the past & they hoped Dottie would do it and you would be unprepared. Can you believe it? But I protected you.
Because one thing, we won Alabama by a record. We won South Carolina by a record. And then they said we lost Georgia.
How the hell did that happen? That doesn’t happen. No, we know how that happened. We know how it happened. You know how it happened. Everybody knows how it happened.
They stole my election.