Event Postponed Until January 15 To Celebrate White Heritage Day

Responding to complaints that his threatened press conference on the first anniversary of his failed coup was tone deaf, if not criminal, former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and what you get when you finally get what you deserve, Donald J. Turdwaffle graciously moved his latest fund-raiser to January 15, sponsored by The Great Molasses Flood Cookie Company.

“It will be so great,” Turdwaffle told Ingraham in a phone call. “We’ll have cookies and questions. Q has promised to be there. We’ll have so many great people from across this great country of ours, Laura. You can count on that. Nobody has better press conferences than me. You see Joe lately? Hello. Joe? Joe? Are you awake, Joe? So sad, Laura. So sad. I bet the woke crowd will still find something to complain about, like they did with my great Tulsa celebration they tried to sabotage.”