All The Gnus That Give Two Shits

MAGA Teen Undergoes Emergency Surgery After Getting Beats Headphone Cable Stuck In His Penis


Teen Claims Mike Lindell Spoke From His Meatus

A 14-year-old Florida boy was rushed to Our Lady Of Perpetual Menstruation this morning after he got the jack  from his Beats headphone cable stuck in his penis.

The home-schooled youth inserted the headphone jack “in the context of stopping the steal,” according to an EMT report, from techs who transported Andy Cornholder to emergency after his parents found the boy writhing in pain in their backyard. Cornholder’s name has only been mentioned because his family requested anonymity, but we found this story too compelling to comply with requests to cover it up.