All The Gnus That Give Two Shits
Turdwaffle Clarifies Taliban Origin Story
“I Was Using A Petitfour!” Corpulent Con Man Crows
Stung by critical fact-checking of his recent rally in Cullman, Alabama, former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspriator & all-around authoritarian scumbag Donald J. Turdwaffle told his communication crew at Fox News today that he had not confused the 1000 year Alt-Reich with the Talibums.
“I was just making a joke,” the irrelevant gas-emitter insisted. “I know the Talibums were founded during the Obama administration along with al Qaeda & ISIS, as I’ve told anyone who would listen for the last 200 years, but to be fair, the Democrats make things so bad for real Americans like us that it seems like a thousand years before we can get real leadership in place to protect our great heritage.”
In related news, the Taliban have opened a Public Radio International affiliate in Kabul & intend to expand their kinder & gentler caliphate to include children’s programming on television, with the first offering to premiere on September 11, 2021, with special guest hosts Beulah & Beauregard Omar Carnation. Check out the promotional still below.