All The Gnus That Give Two Shits

Turdwaffle Claims Arizona Audit Found 8 Million More Votes From 12 States


“See? I Told You I Won!” Jubilant Alt-Jihadist Proclaims

Twice-impeached former President Turdwaffle promised on Saturday to give the entire Arizona state Senate “an extra special Medal of Freedom when I’m reinstated next month,” claiming that Cyber Ninja auditors had found “nearly 10 million votes for me from states all over the map where BLM & antifa stole the election from you great people who voted for your favorite president only to see you victory snatched from the jaws by defeat.”

Turdwaffle singled out Arizona Republican Party Chairwoman Kelli Ward for praise as “one tough cookie,” adding “You won’t see me trying to grab her pussy,” Turdwaffle grinned, eliciting a lengthy standing ovation from the crowd.