All The Gnus That Give Two Shits

Texas Gov Signs Spritz & Zip Abortion Ban


“Life Begins Before His Seed Is Dry” Grins Texan Leader 

Judicial observers were left speechless this morning, when the Texas State Supreme Court preemptively upheld a series of anti-abortion bills Republican governor Bud Abott has not even signed yet, because antifa has stolen all the pens & permanent marking devices in the Austin metropolitan area.

Fetal right-to-die proponents could not find words to express their disbelief at the situation.

“I’m speechless,” said one.

“I have no words,” said another.

Texans have slowly been clawing back the right of a fetus to end its life with dignity, ever since the 1974 Roe v. Wade ruled that any attempt to ban abortion was unconstitutional. Many people have argued, according to people who should know, that new things are always being found in the Constitution that make earlier decisions “rigged & disgraceful. Just a total disgrace. A total disaster!” 

These people contend that reexamining the Constitution in light of new biases is not only a valid area of study worthy of a doctoral dissertation in Political Science, but is also not just an exercise in politics as usual. It is helping mankind & Texans finally determine where life came from.

A spoksefetus for the Sisterhood Of Unflattering Pants, however, argues that denying the unborn an opportunity to opt-out of existence will add a great economic burden to society when former zygotes mature into uppity targets for the community police state to shoot or imprison.