All The Gnus That Give Two Shits



Originally published by drfaustroll under Pataphysics October 29, 2008

I downloaded and watched Slacker Nation last week, and while it did not change my fundamental view that the right to vote is simply a way of getting average schmucks to share responsibility for the atrocities committed by rule-of-law mobs in the exercise of life, liberty, and the pursuit of stock options and golden parachutes that lead to secure property in gated communities, I was impressed by Michael Moore’s desperate hope that the system could be used to change the system and boot George W. Bush’s ignorant tookus out of the White House and back to the ranch in Texas where international authorities could arrest him and send him to The Hague to stand trial for his ugly Christian barbarism.

It didn’t happen, of course, the NOMF™ being the NOMF and all, so that now, four years later, the country is in worse shape than ever, and the First Idiot is still smirking and untouchable as the most powerful developmentally disabled leader on Earth.

As if to prove that the attention span of the American people has narrowed to focus on no more than an extended commercial break during Monday Night Football, while the economy has gone from “essentially sound” to the “worst shape since the Great Depression” in less than the month, it seems as if the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and the rest of the world must be over. Sure, we occasionally hear of a sortie into Syria, Iran, Pakistan, Sudan, Yemen, Colombia, Detroit, Portland, or any of a dozen of other places where the administration is trying to find more resources for well-heeled supporters, but the election, with its focus on the obvious economic collapse and laisse-faire corruption, has driven the reality of war far back in the local papers among the lingerie ads and virtually wiped it off the broadcast news altogether.

As of this morning, there are 4,188 dead American soldiers in Bush’s war to avenge the nose-thumbing Saddam Hussein gave to his father in 1991. At the time Moore was on the Slacker Nation tour in October, 2004, the American death toll stood at 1,126. This was the same period when Lancet reported that the estimated civilian casualties in Iraq had exceeded 100,000. How’s that for collateral damage? Imagine how high it would have been if we hadn’t been using all those smart bombs. Apparently the intelligence of our smart bombs is on a par with the keen intellect of our supreme Decider-in-Chief.

Assuming that we couldn’t afford to use as many of those smart bombs as these meaningless genocidal Christian campaign crusades continue, and figuring that our mighty military is not about to reduce the kill ratio, whether or not it is using body counts to measure success, we must be getting close to having slaughtered a half a million Iraqi non-combatants while fighting against a force that our own defective leadership has at times suggested was no more than a handful of dead-enders. Way to go, America! Fuck yeah!

The population of Iraq in 2004, by the way, was estimated at 27 million, so knocking 500,000 of these terrorist sympathizers amounts to nearly 2% of the entire population. At this rate, the entire country could be neutralized during my lifetime! However, in November, 2004, with the second stolen election under Bush’s belt, American deaths soared to 137, perhaps indicating the excitement and hope that the reelection of Fubar the Decider engendered in the liberated people of Iraq.

The next president is going to have to deal with the mess that voting for incoherence and incompetence has gotten us into, no matter how far under the radar this ludicrous reality has fallen as Bush supporters pillaged the financial system and scampered off with the nation’s spare change in the past couple of months.

The good news is that these greedheads are always easy to find and track down when the populace wakes up to find itself as decimated by their leadership as the citizenry of the original Axis powers were during the sacrifice of the Greatest Generation in the war to drive down unemployment and keep capitalism in the driver’s seat. Remember that thought, and remember the opening paragraphs of the Declaration of Independence, even if the liberal media prefers you fat, dumb, and complacent.