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US Reports Over 1 Million New Daily COVID Cases As Omicron Surges

1/4/22

Thousands Gather At Mar-a-Lago Chanting “USA! USA!”

An unruly crowd drawn to Florida to celebrate the first anniversary of Antifa Infamy Day on January 6th burst into chants of “We’re Number One!” and “USA! USA!” after the World Health Organization acknowledged that the US recorded an astonishing 1 million new cases of COVID-19 coronavirus hoax on Monday, clinching a spot in the Global Pandemic playoffs, easily eclipsing the 800,000 daily new case count reported by China in April of 2020.

The US will face off with hemispheric runner-up Brazil in February, with the winner advancing to the inaugural International Stupid Bowl against the winner of the matchup between India and either North Korea or Afghanistan.

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