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Richard Spencer's Hometown Changes Name To Gefiltefish

9/7/21

Niggardly Nazi’s Dreams Of An Eternally White Christmas Shattered

Back in 2016, Richard Spencer seemed was rising star in Repugnicunt circles, touted by some as the next Ronald Reagan, rallying his fellow racist scumbags to his National Policy Institute, where he gave incendiary speeches trying to foment the American race war Charles Manson and his Legion of Charlies was unable to incite, but not for lack of trying.

In 2017, Spencer and his gooons managed to have Nazis parade through Charlottesville to protest the proposed removal of statues honoring Confederate slavemasters, wearing their fanciest fraternity finery while carrying tiki torches and chanting “Jews Will Not Replace Us!”

Shortly thereafter Spencer was captured on camera taking one full in the kisser by a random liberal fed up with Reagan's legacy of supply-side plantation economics & its enabling community police state. Soon, everyone was calling Spencer “Spotted Dick,” as in “Spotted Dick in the mall & pissed on his polished brown Kitons,” and shortly thereafter he was voted as having the most punchable Nazi face in the western hemisphere for 2017. From sea to shiny sea, liberals were playing Whack A Troll with fascist faces.

Spencer’s dream of building a neo-Nazi paradise for heavily-armed white assholes while holed up in his mother’s Whitefish, Montana, basement led him to attack a local realtor of the Jewish persuasion, who was minding her own business, when Spencer’s mother called the realtor to express heartbreak over her son’s hateful ideology and ask what she could do to make things better for the people in Whitefish. The realtor suggested Ms. Spencer could sell one of her commercial properties and donate some of the proceeds to the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Spotted Dick was furious. He and his then-wife, Valkyrie Braun, forged his mother’s name on an article picked up by various right-wing nutjob media outlets, which began calling for massive protests against the realtor. Pictures of the realtor and her family appeared on posters that showed them at the gates to Auschwitz. Millions of Turdwaffle’s very fine people were encouraged to march through Whitefish on Martin Luther King’s Birthday chanting “I Have A Better Dream,” waving Nazi & Confederate flags to show the smattering of Jews in the area who’s boss in dental floss country.

That rally never materialized as citizens of Whitefish joined together against hate by distributing thousands of paper menorahs that were displayed in every window in the town. The  realtor was subsquently awarded 14 million in damages from The Daily Stormer’s founder Andrew “Randy Andy” Anglin, who has since crawled back under one of his rocks to hide.

Spotted Dick’s fortunes took a decided turn for the worse about the same time, and today he is facing trial in Charlottesville for his role in the Nazi march there that resulted in the death of Heather Heyer when a Nazi nimrod drove his Dukes of Hazzard tribute vehicle into a crowd of antifa counter-protestors. 

Spencer is broke and unable to afford a lawyer, and his hopes of receiving a pardon from former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle grow more dim every day the corpulent crime boss is not reinstated.

Now, to rub salt in Spencer’s wounds, the residents of Whitefish are circulating a petition to change the name of their town to Gefiltefish. “That should keep all these Nazi pigfuckers out of Montana,” said Aldo Ray, a local liberal, named after the most deadly weapon known to man.

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