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Liberals Push To Change Flag Day To Honor LGBTQs

9/14/21

Offer Cost Efficient Solution To Creating New Queer Holiday

In a move some MAGA supporters consider a slight to the legacy of their hero, former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Donald J. Turdwaffle, Queen Antifa (Liberal, America) has introduced legislation calling for an end to Flag Day, which also happenes to be celebrated on June 14, which Turdwaffle often claims is his birthday, adespite never having produced a long-form birth certificate to prove his allegations.

Recent studies by the U.S. Department Of Measuring Things Of Questionable Value indicate the costs of inventing a new holiday, whether at the local, federal, retail, or corporate level, have sky-rocketed in recent years, in some cases exceeding the price tag of a fully-loaded Winnebago, with an F16 fighter jet escort. “Our need for new holildays,” Antifa suggests, “has begun to compromise our national security, but there is a simple solution.”

Antifa argues that the simple removal of the letter “L” from “Flag Day” would do the trick, guaranteed to offend all sides of the gay rights issue, by creating Fag Day. “In the digital age, this is a freebie,” Antifa insists. “It solves so many problems we shouldn’t have now that the American flag itself has become a symbol of hatred in the groping hands of our former Rapist In Chief.”

She noted a recent poll which found nearly 55% of Americans now consider the Stars and Stripes the new Confederate Flag and consider those who aggressively market and display it to be potentially violent insurrectionists.

When asked whether they disapproved or approved of changing the name of Turdwaffle’s birthday from Flag to Fag Day, a whopping 83% approve.

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