Olympic Medalist Cites Polling She Claims Showed Her With 5 Point Lead Over Elder

Caitlin Jenner, the Olympic medalist formerly known as Bruce, did more than complain as results of California’s gubernatorial recall election trickled in, showing her with less than .6% of the total votes cast. She accused Democrats of voting heavily for Gavin Newsome, “which skewed the results. Nobody counts on the Democrats voting. That’s not how Republicans have traditional maintained our overwhelming majority where it matters most.”

Jenner deflected questions about whether she attributed her dismal showing to the endorsement of former president Turdwaffle or her own lack of qualifications.

“I prefer to talk about the election,” Jenner huffed, “and the clear evidence is that something is very obviously wrong with the results. My polling showed I was the clear leader among the Kardashian demographic. It just doesn’t make sense.”

Asked if she was considering challenging the results in court, Jenner would only say she was giving the matter considerable thought and that “all options are on the table.”