Turdwaffle Forced To Eat With Consuela Lopez

Twice-impeached former President Donald J. Turdwaffle refused to comment on recent reports that Melania Turdwaffle has chosen to opt out of the last year of her contract & take a chance on the free agent market. Several international tyrants are said to be interested in the QAnon 2020 Pin-Up Of The Year.

The former First Lady has been cutting back on expenses since leaving her sugarless daddy, having finally fired the last of the rumored stable of 5 body doubles who filled in for her during Turdwaffle's four-year reign of error as part of her renegotiated prenuptial agreement following Donnie’s successful rigging of the 2016 election. 

“I had no idea he could pull this off,” the former escort told Whores And The Mongers Who Horde Them magazine, “but I am glad to have retained actual lawyers to handle my affairs.”.